Knowing Yourself: 1 Simple Way to Become Self-Aware

Find happiness and peace

6/28/20233 min read

how to become self-aware
how to become self-aware

When I started my journey towards self-awareness, I was really overwhelmed by the amount of information available on the internet.

I didn't know where to start and how to start? As you know, so much information leads to anxiety.. You don’t need to be anxious though because I am going to give you only one simple task. It will not only make you aware but also you can go deeper into yourself. You will be able to find out the real you.

It starts with defining your values. What do you value the most in your life? Is it love and compassion for your parents and friends, or is it health?

Don’t let it blow your mind away. Let’s simplify this with the following steps.

Step one, figure out the roles you play.

We all play different roles in our lives. When we are with our parents we play the son or daughter role, when we are with our friends we become friends, when we are at the office we play a certain different role, whatever you might call it, maybe you are a father or a mother include that as your role as well. Maybe you are part of a charity… Anyway you got the point right?

There can be multiple roles 5 or maybe 20 it can be anything. And then there is another role that is constant for all of us. It's the role of YOU. What you do with yourself defines what you do with the other roles.

When we separate the roles we play, we see the different aspects clearly and it gives us a broader picture of our lives.

And please do write all these things down if you really care about these things.

Anyway, let’s move on.

Now that you have separated different roles, the next thing you need to do is, figure out what are the things you value in those roles.

Create two columns. One is where you will write down the desired values that you want to be true and in the other one write down the actual value that you give.

For example, when I started doing this for me. I wrote that I value a healthy life. But when I gave it a thought I found that it is not really true. All I had done was eat unhealthy foods, sleep late at night watching Netflix and obviously no exercises. Exercise? What's that?

So the real value I had was taste instead of nutrition, entertainment instead of a good night sleep and laziness instead of physical proactiveness.

I know this can be hard to digest the real truth about you. Maybe you will hate yourself for some time and maybe you will not change at all because you will let your monkey mind distract you from these bitter feelings about yourself.

But real change starts when we face the truth. When we accept it without fighting it. And when we start taking small steps to fix them.

After you let the monster out of yourself you should feel free. You should feel happy that you were able to find the truth. Accept it, don’t fight it. Then only you will be able to take steps.


I read a book called “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Duck”, the writer Mark Manson wrote something about “The feedback loop from hell”.. Let’s say, you are feeling really bad for something, maybe because of a bad experience you had with your boss. And when you realize you are feeling anxious, you start to feel more anxious. The concept is, we become anxious for being anxious. It’s like a loop. And you will find a way to distract yourself from that. Maybe you will look for a TV series or maybe you will be headed to a bar or something else.

Why am I mentioning this here?

Because, when you write down your actual values you might feel the same. Don’t let your mind put you in a loop like this. Don’t let it distract you. See through it, face it and accept it. Then try to take steps. Not huge steps. Take small small steps to fix those things. One at a time. It may take years but that’s fine.

The goal is to grow above the lies. The goal is to change the lens through which we see the world.